Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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