just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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Randomize
