he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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