dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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