remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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