I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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