my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
