What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
