he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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