You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
