So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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