I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I stole a fireplace last night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
