I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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