You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
