Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
