I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
