then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
MIDGETS
????
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
