WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
