I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i think i have herpe
just one?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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