I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
