I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
