On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
