Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
