Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
