you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
