We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
