I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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