Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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