Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
