New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
