ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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