4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
