Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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