Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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