If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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