I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
