Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
