Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
