I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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