Porn is love you can see.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
