make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
