one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
