try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I love you. Go after that dick
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
