is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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