My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
