Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I cut my penus on the lid.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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