He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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