Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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