I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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