i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
