SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
