It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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