Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
