i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
